Wallamazoo’s Travels: Vertigo #1
A Draft Updated in 2014.
Guess Where I Get To Go
This is the blog that I reveal some fantastic news to everyone!! In mid-January of 2011, I will be traveling alone to Norway for two whole weeks! My destination is a nice town, known as Bergen. There resides a good friend whom I met through friends here in America, during a Foreign Exchange program switch. She is a she. Would you believe people are already asking me to bring back presents? I’m not just going to be a Tourist. I am prospecting. For what you might ask?
Sweden is where I am truly bound to settle my roots, and dig into a future. Ha! The neighbor of Norway! Bergen isn’t even close to the border to Sweden. So this idea of mine probably sounds rather preposterous. Now I let you in on a little secret. The contact in Norway I am meeting may possibly have a future with me! I am not going to say much more than that right now. No jinxing me!!
2014 Update: Well, I was jinxed. Three years later I still live in Washington State with no hopes of moving to Norway or Sweden, and this contact is in no way affiliated with me except that we are neutral-negative with each other. However with my welding career underway, it may be that I will at least reach a similar longitude in Alaska. But that’s just one possible destination work-related venture. We shall see. With that also in mind, I did end up bringing home a few trinkets and chocolate that I ate soon after returning.
A Terrible Laughter
Last night I ate some very raunchy oven-baked Pizza from the cheap aisle. I didn’t like it, and it didn’t like me. Although I didn’t get sick from it exactly, I did go to bed with a mild stomach ache. This induced Nachtmares. (Note, this is a reference to Young Frankenstein. I know that German for Nightmare is “Albtraum.”) But last night was rather strange.
My brain was trying too hard to scare me, and it ended up being rather hilarious. Take this dream, for example. My house became haunted by a demon who was trying very hard to scare us (go figure!), but was rather silly instead. He would mock us, whisper in the darkness, but say very unusual phrases. In one part of the dream, it was turning a light on and off on his own. To solve this matter, I simply took the light bulb out of the socket.
Eventually my family just got tired of this demon infesting our house. So we found the source, simply by learning that the demon enjoyed Classical music. We just wandered around the house trying to listen to emissions of said music, and found the demon to be residing in a family heirloom, which was of great desire and wealth to us. Not exactly surprising for a demon to hide in, if you take into account that they prey on pride, greed, etc. So, how did we get rid of it?
We drove down the road until we came across an all-night dance lesson shop. It was then we decided to throw the heirloom inside the dance class, and drove off. In the background were the screams of terrified students, running from a huge roar. I woke up laughing.
This kind of post is a different installment than a single long post. Vertigo posts include several “miniposts,” or summaries of longer posts to be exact. A major aspect of my Hiatus was trying to figure out ideas for posts, but failing. I couldn’t figure out anything to write about more than a few simple paragraphs. Don’t fret though, I am really a lazy guy. I work 40 hours a week in a stressful environment, but I enjoy the hell out of it. (Recently got Employee of the Month for September! Wooh!) Because I enjoy it, it tires me out much more. By the time I can return home to write a post, I am ready to fall asleep.
Update 2014: I hate everything I wrote here. I also hate that I wanted to use Vertigo ironically considering many of my posts are long. It just dumbfounds me that almost all of my recent year readers haven’t wanted to read more than two lines of text, the lazy bastards. And fuck you, wallamazoo, for being such a lazy asshole in 2012.