Archive for the ‘ Feminism ’ Category

Foot In Mouth 1: Bossy, Bossy, Bossy.

[A new Pro-Offensive post here, labelled “Foot In Mouth.” It is just a full-force-freedom-of-speech rant without any restrictions on language, and a lack of general politeness. Because some people can be so incredibly stupid that they actually deserve it. Some people might say the things I say will be the same as putting a foot in my mouth. For me, I think of my foot just getting a good saliva shine before shoving it up somebody’s ass.]

Today’s topic, as per the post title, is the very recent “ban the word bossy” trend. In the YouTube link hidden in the words, the very first question on the “About” second is read as this:

What do Beyoncé, Condoleezza Rice & Jane Lynch have in common? They’ve committed to ban the word bossy.

On the contrary, what they all have in common is their substantial profits, positions in leadership, and they’re what I call “cultural sexists.” Similar to the anti-thesis of “racism,” which is not in fact acceptance of races but instead is of the self-racism. Unfortunately this is extremely common, and it’s a rather new form of liberal bigotry. In and of itself is the reason why the so-called “race-war” is in existence. It is not the tolerant means to educating people with the polite truth that we are all the same inside, but the militant bashing and banning of unnecessary offenses and practices kept dear by a few people. I personally believe that this militant culture of feminism is a wrong-wing for helping women’s case for true freedom. And yes, I do want women to have rights equal to men, and men equal to women. It really isn’t that difficult to understand that peace can be found without war, so long as everyone calms the fuck down.

So when it comes down to the word “bossy,” it is extremely out of context and sexist for these particular political and celebrity idols to promote the ban of the word. A single word. Will I go to jail for saying nigger? Will I be fined? Guess what, no I won’t. This attempt at banning “bossy” is a cheap and undercutting form of taking control where it is unneeded. Men can be considered “bossy.” A perfect example is when one employee starts acting tall and mighty among his or her peers, and tries to give orders to his/her equals. That can be properly defined with the adjective, “bossy.” Calling someone out on their actions is necessary sometimes. In the work force, it is more necessary to simply report offensive nature to your actual supervisor. There are rumors and bandit ideas that you will be looked down upon for tattling. But let me tell you something: Bosses, true bosses, want happy employees and happy customers. If your employees aren’t happy, your customers aren’t happy. If your customers aren’t happy, you don’t get paid. Remind yourself of this logic. You know what you could do, if you wanted to be a good leader? Stand up and peacefully tell your bossy co-worker that you won’t take orders from them, nor do you have to. You take orders from above, and that’s where you’re looking up at. If you set your sights high, you will go higher. Let me tell you, a bitchy woman never got promoted above her current position. The truth is this: People of Power are all the same. A bitchy female manager is the same as a bitchy male manager. Why is this? They have the same goal: the improvement of the company.

Let me ask this question real quickly. Is not telling someone what they can, or cannot say, in itself “bossy?” For that matter, in the video Beyonce is quoted as saying “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” Is doing boss work in itself not boss-like, or bossy? I think that the message being thrown around here is not a good one. Bosses are known for yelling commands down the chain to the peons below and making mountains move without as much a flick of his/her on finger. A leader, on the other hand, gets down in the trenches and holds a torch so their followers can see through the darkness. A Boss commands the workers below and reaps the benefits of their labor, but a leader sees the benefits of having a strong team. Is it not yet clear what I am trying to get across? If you’re going to encourage young women to grow up and be good leaders, then you need to stop being the boss.

This video, this movement to ban “bossy” is reflected as being Fascist, Communist, Stalinist, or other adjectives to describe “controlling, fear-based, and destructive.” The first thing Hitler did to the Jews was ban all literature, art, and music that were created by Juden. When Josef Stalin came into power after the Russian Revolution and created the USSR, one of the first things he did was ban all religion, biblical texts, and either destroyed or re-purposed churches for other programs for the Soviet Union. I am not necessarily trying to say that this ban on “bossy” is directly associated with Nazism, but it is absolutely tied with Censorship (which I highly disagree with entirely). On that matter, controlling others and censorship is an attribute of weakness – to ban something that offends you is a way of saying “I am weak.” Yes, I said it and I won’t take it back. Let me ask you, how many “bosses” have been killed by their regimes? How many Leaders have been killed by their own Regime? You need to look at the Mexican Revolution(s) to see who were leaders, and who were bosses. The lines are extremely thin, and the paint thicker.

Now on the part of “labels are real, and labels hurt.” Don’t you think that I am hurt when I am labeled a “faggot?” Or when someone calls me a “piece of shit?” There is something that is not being taught properly in our culture these days and I think it’s necessary for people to learn how to “get over it.” But our culture is not only seeing the decline in this way of teaching, but it’s literally being destroyed. It is very important that people are taught how to understand and articulate their feelings, but sometimes you just need to move on and leave the worry behind. I will absolutely teach my son a powerful lesson that was not imparted upon me, and that is “I know it hurts, but you need to get over it.” What I see in this movement to ban a word or a label is to hope for a painless world which will never exist. For one to “get over it” is extremely important because you can’t sweat the small stuff like being called bossy, or in my case, faggot. You need to take control of your own life, and know it’s okay to be afraid and it’s okay to be sad and down in the dumps about something. But you need to figure out how to move on effectively and be able to learn how to let the harmful things slide past you later. Otherwise you won’t be a good leader, and you won’t learn how to learn from mistakes. You can’t keep blaming others for your own feelings.

Here is what you can do: Stop being bossy, and become a leader. Take a few tips from the game “Tug of War.” Only the team that works together with effective leadership can succeed, even if the opponent has stronger people. Being a leader requires balance of pain and joy. There is something in the psyche of the major celebrity women in this video that will never understand. They have forgotten how to be humble, and I know this. All of them have one thing in common, and that is they are “People of Power.” A common saying is “Power Corrupts.”

To end this post with a final statement, I will say this: “A Boss is a Corrupted Leader.”

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Declaiming My Turf

This is a direct response to various Dudes and their collaborators who have made it clear that groping, touching me without consent is a compliment in their eyes. In their flawed logic, they think if I managed to give some Dude a boner, it is their moral duty to assert their power over my body. Or at least help them get off. Who cares what happens to my consent or choice? Many say, “Choice is overrated” and sometimes even unnecessary. Before I could fume my LadyBrain into bursting various capillaries, I realised most of these Dudes have no idea what it feels to be groped, manhandled, touched or experience more than just touching. It’s a part of the privilege their dangly appendage yields, “Ye shall always grab, but never be grabbed yerselves”. Probably the biggest ironies of the human race. Or maybe just about relatively bigger than the “How do so many people speak through their thighs with their head jammed so far up their arse?” question. Feel free to answer any one.

Without further ado, here is a poem I recently wrote after being groped complimented so hard that the bruises still hurt. Hopefully, this will be my last time explaining just why I don’t like such complimenting.

———–

You may have forgotten me
Since that day,
Not so long ago when You
Said touching me was
in Your opinion a
‘Compliment’, ‘Sign of
Fucking respect’ and a
Gesture that You said I
Must learn to love.
Even if I didn’t, that wouldn’t
Make you stop anyway.

I seem to have to lost
My body the moment you
Ordained I’m lucky to be
Prodded, torn apart, broken
Handled in the way You see
Fit; which is worse than
than a grave covered with
Fine spit.

Out walks this fickle Lady,
Barefoot, untethered and crazy
To reclaim what’s left of her heart,
soul, breast, vagina and mind.
She will even take every little
Unglued part that you disposed off,
For it has become her mission to
Re-seek, Re-join and Re-fine(d).

I walked out on the road,
Not too far from my house
I found my womb set out loose.
I picked it up, saw its transparent Eye
Warm and silently accusing,
So I decided to just keep the plastic one
In its place, full of red and blue dye.

My breasts lay a little farther away,
The right mangled and slayed
Reminding me of a tortoise
Sans the shell,
to You it seemed akin
to your own personal hell.
I decided to leave the left one
to you, when You clearly derive
Much more pleasure than I do
Out of a glob of flesh.
Or perhaps two.

Those two adjacent lips
Were walking all by themselves
When I approached them, they
Said, “After He threw us away,
We’ve managed to become but one.
Wafting everywhere is the only way
we feel like we did once before
All this shoddy business was done”.
Though those unspeaking lips
Meant much to me,
I let them drift ashore.

My body stripped, bare, lonely
Seems to have lost its reason to
Ever feel alive or even remotely brave
Ever since that day,
You took it on yourself
To label, play and crave
This corpse that knows now
Only pain.

Not that you will ever know,
You can carry on living and touching
Wildly unaware that my skin got
Up and left after you did too
Leaving shards of sinew to cover
My heart’s eternal dew.

Ramblings On Masculinity: Re-affirming The Female Gaze Or Trying To Anyway

This week as I lay hiatus-ing, I took it upon myself to dig through the annals of my journal to see if there was indeed any message from HigherPower present in my words, warning me that one day ‘this day shall come’, like a supposed self-fulfilling prophecy that a certain douche dude made about 20 years ago that, “Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream“. Lo and behold for exactly 20 years after we see Ugly Betty©! Thus my sudden need to go complete John Nash on my journals (sans the math of course). The above can also be read as an excuse to do something besides give my dog endless belly rubs or further procrastinating writing papers for a rewarding publishing factory that manufactures mass consent my college program. Or maybe I am just that far gone in the tutu circus. Anyway, my journals have been useless in the science of studying *me* for anything beyond drool marks and kisses around Plath and Gauri Deshpande’s names.

So, you are my witness dear BLOG! reading person, that I’ve never had any pre-anything on expecting that a certain Dude — Let’s call him Jerk # 256 for future reference — from the nooks of my life would come out to say to me, “You can’t write about men! Because you’re not one!”. With that premise, if I were to pull a Felicity Huffman stunt, you think all dude-ly insights will suddenly come running to my now transformed ManBrain in addition to being absolutely insensitive to trans-people? Don’t answer that, seriously. Let’s just pretend I can think like a ManPerson without the virtue of having a dangly appendage between my legs*. Or having the compulsion to scratch my nether regions in public for kicks. Or engage in any other stereotypical ‘manly’ behaviour, for no matter what commercials want us to believe, the key to manliness isn’t drinking peewater beer or using Axe deodorants. At least not where I hail from.

Masculinity as seen here, in the Orient as Said coined us, is basically constant dominance over the Other. The Other is just about anyone who refuses to conform to the norms of the KyriarchalMonster. In this case, even my dog falls outside the patronage of such a system considering I’ve raised him to rebel at everything. At least that’s what I keep telling myself when he’s chewed up yet another pillow. Kyriarchy’s first cousin, MonsieurLePatriarch has been controlling our lives from the day they realised we could be kept quiet, by force or otherwise, many moons ago.

As I sat discussing with Jerk # 256 just why is it important for us to break out of this silence and vicious silencing, he just snorted, saying, “Women like being like that. Besides, we’re all equal. It’s only you feminists who keep on harping about equality. Women today have as much sex as we do. What more do you want?”. It’s at times like these I wish I could have MindPowers that would make the floor part and eat certain CabbageBrainedMiscreants whole sparing me the loss of my BrainCells. Over the following days, I tried to speak to other MenPeople, hoping to get different answers. No matter how educated they are, they all come down to the idea that a woman’s sphere, essentially, is her womb. The rare MenPeople who believe in equal rights for all are either closeted Dudes whose concept of equality is too Orwellian to be any good or they are seen as outcasts, exceptions to the masculine, effeminate, castrated versions of their former selves. One even went as far as saying, “This notion of equality is very Romantic. The truth is, she stays at home and takes care of my children while I earn for them. Is it wrong for me to say sometimes¹ I should have the upper hand?”. At that moment I wanted to pinch myself to see if I’d magically been transported 500 years back in time, the only way this Dude’s definition of authority seems to fit the culture. And this quote is from a professor of Economics in one of the most popular colleges in the city! (I’d like to take a break to announce I Blame The Patriarchy for all this. That and the nincompoop-ish nature of people).

This idea that certain kinds of people — MenPeople– should have the upper hand over the Other hasn’t magically re-enforced itself, my history books suggest. There is a strong religious strain burdening silly LadyHeads for the better part of many centuries and then there’s this notion that is engraved on our bones the first time we question any power structure by our mothers, aunts, relatives, schools that “Boys are like that. You are not like them. Therefore you cannot do so and so“. Here gender either becomes your strongest or weakest asset depending on the presence or absence of the Y-chromosome. Some of the many things that become automatically open to me if I were a dangly-appendaged Dude are —

  1. Swearing in public
  2. Stating opinions without the danger of being judged against the tag of a ‘female mind’
  3. Drinking in public
  4. Having the freedom to choose multiple romantic partners
  5. Wearing whatever clothes I want without being afraid of being assaulted.

If I do all of the above while being a woman (in the current class and sect that I belong to), I’m the worst kind of woman roaming in the city. It helps to see masculinity as the glowering teacher constantly telling you to recite a poem when all you want to do is write one. And when you do end up writing the poem, it’s called the product of a deviant mind, too simple to actually amount to anything². It’d be foolish to underestimate this kind of conditioning as just ‘words’ or ‘ senseless notions’. Like Butler explains in Gender Trouble, most genders are constructed, performed. There is a visible need to elevate MenPeople over everyone else, perhaps as a a paranoid shield to the danger of becoming like a woman. I hear that it’s more contagious than rabies and the swine flu put together. A journal entry of mine dating back to 2000 (age 10) goes, “Everyone laughed at my short hair. But when boys wear their hair short, no one laughs at them. Maybe they think I’ve forgotten how to be a girl“. Similar words like these made my ‘tomboyish’ (what does this even mean!?) student grow out her hair, speak in the lowest of voices (as opposed to her earlier loud tone) and ‘becoming’ a girl in every possible way without ever being overtly told that she was a deviation from the norm of the ‘feminine’; rather the popular notion of the ‘feminine’.

At this point I should add, Jerk # 256 just said, “What frivolous ideas you have! Women wear short skirts and fu*k all they want! Isn’t that what feminism wanted to do?” after my long-ish rant as I took calming breaths, reminding myself murder doesn’t look too good on the resume too often. Once again, I’m defined on their terms; I don’t have the agency to challenge their definition of *me*, simply put. Not today anyway.

1 – Sometimes? Please.
2 – This happened to another student of mine.
* Deliberate. Indian masculinity is too full about that dangly appendage only. Hold the e-mails dear BLOG! reading people.

The Ultimate Battle of the Shlongs

Okay, okay, I know that men are known to fight each other and grab a beer after. Friends punch each other in the face, and laugh about it. They get a leg chopped off, and talk about it for weeks like a funny joke. Typical, right? For men?

Not for me.

I cannot stand fighting one bit! Fighting destroyed my relationships, my friendships, and even broke apart my family. Punching, hitting, and being aggressive isn’t in my playing book either. I yell to express my enjoyment of yelling, sure, but I have not called a friend a cum-guzzling faggot jew.  How come we guys do this? How is it accepted even? Mark my words and tone, for I am not homosexual. Okay, there was a period of time in middle school that people called me gay constantly, so I being very anti-social… wondered, hmm… am I really gay? But no, I’m not. Just ask my ex gf.. wait, don’t ask her. I don’t even want to think about her anymore. Oh, what horrors people can do to each other. Mind you, I hurt her as much as she hurt me.

Moving on! The limitation to the whole “man fighting” thing that I partake is calling my good friends “fag” for purposes of messing around with them. “oh, that’s just horrible!” you might say, however… we don’t have any connection in our heads to someone being gay! Except, for some reason, today. (This was actually weeks ago.) My friend and I were trading names at each other, but somewhere he decided to use the humor that goes to extreme limits, and called me other horrible names. Although I got the humor, I didn’t like what he had said to me in general. < This was a complete shock to him. I avoided his long, long, LONG rant demonizing me and went straight to his dad. You see, my Xbox 360 was at his house at the time, and I felt it was a good time as ever to plan the great exodus of my gaming console to my house. This particular friend and I can’t actually discuss anything together. He has to play the BIGGER MAN always, and stand up taller than me to make a point, and the ONLY point possible which is his. Otherwise, we don’t talk for a few days if I continue to challenge him.

This is the Stigma of Men. As is said in Red Dead Redemption (Rock Star Games) By the Marshall, “Cowards in large groups are the most dangerous of all.” Allow me to make this statement to all men. Ahem. All men who share the same Stigma of always wanting power over the opposite sex,  your friends, family, race and sexuality, you are COWARDS. Cowards to the bone. Anger, violence, swearing, and hostility are all signs of fear, delusion and stupidity. For those reasons, I support feminists. How can modest women even battle against belligerent apes? Heh, before the trolls attack, women can be belligerent apes too… with extra fire from their periods.  < this is kind of a joke, I guess?

Simply, if a man wanted to be less of a coward, he would choose to negotiate and talk without switching to ARG, ANGRY mode. You know, talk. Express feelings, cry, and still be himself. [To the Dudes who would say “I’m not going to open up and be a fucking woman! I’m a MAN! ARG, ANGRY!” I have but one thing to reveal. Ahem. We are all women to begin with, the XY is a genetic flaw, XX is the greater sex in terms of genetic purity, as well as being genetically stronger. All in all, we’re a tragic mutation that will not last another 10,000 years. We’re SOL, men.] With that in mind, all I have to say to the angry Dudes who would be so frightened to share their feelings and get it over with is: stop being afraid of being vulnerable. What is the advantage of being greater than the opposite sex, or for that matter, the very same gender? < This question applies to both Dudes and Doe’s, actually.

Get it right: There is NO advantage! By engaging in conflict and fighting wars we have become farther from Peace than ever. Humanity is its own predator and prey. Soon we face the Apocalypse derived by MANKIND. People, this Earth is stable to support life. To support creatures of prey, and to support us! Why have we chosen to fight over what is granted to us as a species in a planet this tiny in a vast universe so unimaginably large?

Men, we fight. But why? Our history is a bloody lineage of life and death, violence and craving for lust. We have fought wars over women, gold, glory, god, and territory. All the different races of the world have only proven that Humans are the most adaptable creature on Earth. Let us begin to adapt to the NOW. Look at our technological feats, our tolerance and acceptance of world issues, and brave minds willing to challenge their fates and lives for the greater good of Humanity. Do people realize that the money spent on the Iraq War could have taken a space station to the moon? Put men and women on Mars? What about all the people being forced to create nuclear weapons of destruction? Nuclear power is possibly the key to space travel! American Aircraft Carriers are powered by Nuclear Reactors that only need replacing after decades! Imagine what we could do to ships in space? How many times must we face the threat of nuclear war because we are COWARDS before we brave our destiny beyond our planet?

How many times must men fight over one woman before they let her choose who she wants?

Once more, I do not appreciate the Stigma of Men who choose to fight. As by now, we can all tell. Will men change their minds and wills to accept that we need a change for ourselves? Probably not! All of humanity is far too afraid.